Hogwarts go to Toko
by Phoenix Black Malfoy
Summary: Some Hogwarts 5th years the Marauders included go on a feild trip to a muggle school in New Zealand: some pranks, upset teachers and pissed of slytherins
1. Dumbledore Announces

Disclaimer: every thing that's J.K's is J.K's every thing that's not belongs to other people.  
  
A/N: The name of the school is called Tokomairiro High School is Maori NEW ZEALAND ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my first story my friend is helping a bit she has 11 stories do try some she's S.Black Rocks.We were stuck on the sorting hat song hence the shitty song.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Hogwarts start of term feast  
  
(A/N: The marauders live in our time and are 15)  
  
As soon as all the students were seated in the great hall the sorting hat sang its very creative song:  
  
Now you know I am very perrty  
  
So go ahead and judge me  
  
I'll kiss your feet if you can find  
  
Something better than a pork rine  
  
Give the Minister back his bowlers hat  
  
He's quite short without it  
  
For im the thinking cap  
  
And I top them all  
  
Theres lots missing from your head  
  
Same with Dumbledore you see  
  
So sit on me and fart away  
  
That's how it ought to be  
  
If your thick you're like Godric  
  
Where the brave die  
  
There head strong ways and slow wit  
  
Set those Griffs apart  
  
You might like to huff and puff  
  
Were their made of Marshmallow and Jelly  
  
Those slow huffs ans puffs are blue  
  
And are afraid to boil  
  
Yet were the birds soar  
  
With few a tail feathers behind  
  
With those who love the bloody books  
  
Will all get glasses once they start  
  
Or maybe you like green snakes  
  
You'll love the Dark Lord  
  
You will suffer many a pain  
  
Only to descend 6 feet under  
  
So sit on me, hope you had your beans  
  
And make your butt cheeks flap  
  
Your quite safe the rest of the year  
  
For I'm locked up all year round  
  
The whole hall even the teachers were in shock and looking at the hat.  
  
"I WAS BLOODY BORED, I NEEDED A CHANGE" yelled a sad and depressed hat.  
  
With that the hall burst out laughing  
  
~~~~~~~~~~20mins later ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After everyone calmed down, and Professor McGonagall had soothed the first years back up to the front, she stepped forward holding a large roll of parchment.  
  
"When I call your name, you will put the hat on and sit on the stool to be sorted." Said McGonagall.  
  
"Joe Te Bone!"  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF" shouted the hat.  
  
"Thomas London"  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF"  
  
"Vince Cola"  
  
"SLYTHERIN"  
  
"Lemo Coke" (A/N: My friend and I have a thing for coke)  
  
"RAVENCLAW"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ 10 mins later ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After all the first years had been sorted,  
  
Hufflepuff got 10  
  
Ravenclaw got 3  
  
Gryffindor got 6  
  
Slytherin got none  
  
Professor Dumbledore stood up, with his eyes twinkling over his half moon specs, "This year we have the pleasure of an exchange student who will be starting fifth year and will be staying for the year, who will be sorted, now."  
  
Professor McGonagall who didn't look happy at all about this read the last name on the list.  
  
"Tom Riddle"  
  
"GRYFFINDOR"  
  
With that said and done, Professor McGonagall took away the complaining hat and stool, who's screaming could be heard from outside.  
  
"NO NO! YOU CAN'T! IT'S INHUMAN! DON'T PUT ME BACK PLEASE! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! AND SO AM I! NO YOU'RE NOT I AM! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............" who's cries were cut off when he was locked in a chest.  
  
Dumbledore, who was clearly disturbed at the act the sorting hat was putting on, stood up for his start of term speech.  
  
"Welcome, welcome, I must apologise for our sorting hat, he seems to have developed more than one personality. Anyway, I would like to welcome the first years to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now let the feast begin!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Over at the Gryffindor Table ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Marauders, A.K.A.. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, (A/N: Sorry 'bout keeping him, but I have a fun way to torture him later on) were talking about the sorting hat incident.  
  
"can you believe it?" said an over excited Sirius. "They're gonna be talking about that for years to come!"  
  
"You got that right Padfoot." Said a very shell shocked James, for Lily Evans Had agreed to go out on a date with him.  
  
"Ooh, Jamsie's got the love bug!" said Sirius who's obviously asking for a beating.  
  
"Oh, calm down Paddy, just cos you don't have a girlfriend yet." Said a very amused Remus.  
  
At that comment, James completely cracked up laughing, while Sirius whined, "You're a meany, I hope you realize, I like being a bachelor." Putting on his best puppy dog eyes. "And what about you anyway, eh Moony? You got a girl a yet?" asked Sirius.  
  
Moony at that, went extremely red in the face, and mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, "There'sthisonegirlinRavenclaw."  
  
But Sirius didn't catch it, for at that point, Peter had decided to blow up his plate of food. (A/N: God damn attention seeker!)  
  
James, was about to comment on what Remus had said, but was cut off, when Dumbledore stood up, and started his beginning of term notices.  
  
"First years are not allowed in the Forbidden Forest unless you wish to die a horrible death, this is also banned to our older students, and some of you will do well, to remember that," he said, and glancing quickly at the Marauders, his eyes twinkling the whole time. " And I also have to announce, that Mr Filch our caretaker, has added 10 new rules, which can be found at his office, and Quidditch will be cancelled this year."  
  
With that said, James Potter stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Why sir? That is a complete outrage! You just can't take away Quidditch!"  
  
"Now, now, Mr Potter," said Dumbledore, while James' friends sat him back down, "That brings us, to our last notice of the night, Some fifth years, will be going on a field trip, to a country called New Zealand and will be attending a muggle high school, by the name of Tokomairiro High for the year, in a little town called Milton in the South Island."  
  
"Now lets sing the school song and then it's off to bed."  
  
Hogwarts Hogwarts, Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts  
  
Teach us something please  
  
Whether we be old or bald  
  
Or young with scabby knees  
  
Our heads could do with filling  
  
With some interesting stuff  
  
For now there bare and full of air  
  
Dead flies and bits of fluff  
  
So teach us things worth knowing  
  
Bring back what we forgot  
  
Just do your best, we'll do the rest  
  
And learn untill our brains all rot.  
  
At last only the marauders were left singing, to the tune of 'Hit me Baby oine More Time' by Britney Spears, for they repeated it a couple of times and added Sound Effects.  
  
With that, Dumbledore, stood up and said, "Thank you for that very good performance, now it's off to bed, So good night and don't let the bed bugs bite!'  
  
A/N: Next Chapter, Will be at Toko! When our school gets told!!! 


	2. We meet Vicky and Fawn

Hogwarts Goes To Toko  
  
Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1. If I've missed something, I will add it in the story sometime. All things to do with Lord Of The Rings belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.  
  
A/N: I must apologize for the first chapter, my friend and I were not in the right state of mind. Our descriptions: (Not all of this is true, you realize, we just have over-active imaginations.)  
  
Fawn Blackstar: 5'6", mousy brown tail-bone length hair, blue-green eyes, 2 piercing at the bottom of ears and 1 at the top of left, belly-button and tongue piercing, black viper snake tattoo up her spine with green eyes, open mouth and venom dripping fangs, Ankh on inside of right forearm, Cobra wrapped around left wrist, Love-heart with a dagger through it on the outside of right ankle. Obsessive poetry and quote reader along with any other books and researcher of religions.  
  
Vicky Morrigan: 5'5", blue eyes, blond mid-back length hair (always done up in 2 plaits), 2 piercings in each ear, belly-button piercing and top of left ear pierced, The One Ring of Sauron tattooed onto right shoulder blade. Always wears a Paua shell ring on left middle finger. Obsessive Lord Of The Rings fan, part time author.  
  
Things we both are: We both believe there is no one to of our level of intelligence to talk to at school, so we keep to ourselves and sometimes speak completely different languages in front of other people. Even though there are no such clubs in Milton, we belong to these clubs anyway, Gun Club, Martial Arts Club, Sword Fighting and other weapons training Club, The Official Lord Of The Rings Fan Club.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Us in NZ  
  
  
  
Fawn (16) and Victoria (15, Vicky) had just finished their third term of 5th form at Tokomairiro High School, were sitting outside at Vicky's parent's house drinking shots of bourbon and Vanilla coke, due to the fact that both of their parents had left them at Vicky's house so they could go on holiday to visit relatives, Fawn's parents had gone to Australia and Vicky's had gone to England.  
  
While we were doing that, Professor Dumbledore, Prof. McGonagall, Prof. Figg (Muggle Studies Teacher) as well as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Frank Longbottom, Arthur Weasley from Gryffindor.  
  
Thomas Treehorn, Ambrosia Bigguns, Balto Hankey from Ravenclaw.  
  
Nick Clearwater, David Chang, Casper Spears, Brittany Roxy, Gilderoy Lockhart from Hufflepuff.  
  
Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Sam Goyle, Ted Crabbe, Narcissa Earnshaw, Damian Fowl from Slytherin.  
  
Arrived at Tokomairiro High School and went to see the Principal to see where they were staying while they were in Milton.  
  
"Hello Mr Dumbledore, Miss McGonagall and Mrs Figg." Said Murray Whitebell, the Principal of Toko High.  
  
(A/N: We don't use Professor over here it is Mr, Miss or Mrs.)  
  
"Welcome to Tokomairiro High School, I hope you enjoy your stay." Said Mrs Jackie Daniels.  
  
(A/N: We are making up names for our teachers to protect their privacy. (not that we care.))  
  
"You will be staying with Miss Victoria Charlotte Mary Morrigan and Miss Fawn Laura Blackstar. Who are both staying at the Morrigans while their parents are overseas visiting relatives. We will take you and your group there now." Mrs Daniels obviously trying to get rid of them.  
  
(Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were sent to another school without supervision, their teachers trust them.)  
  
Back up at the Morrigan house, Fawn and Vicky were currently sitting cross legged in the middle of the drive way, arms on each others shoulders singing 'We are the Champions' with a bottle of bourbon watered down with Vanilla Coke in their hands, when they heard a 2 storey bus pull up the bottom of the driveway.........  
  
(A/N: They live on a hill.)  
  
They jumped up as if just sitting on a porcupine and promptly fell down again, decided there was no way they were not going to be able to stand up for some time.  
  
They through the bottles of bourbon into the bombfire in the paddock next door just in time for the bus to stop in front of them.  
  
Mr Whitebell got out of the bus and looked at the girls with confusion written all over his face and asked, "What are you doing sitting in the middle of the stony driveway?"  
  
"Erm.........Hey Vickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, wazze say?" slurred fawn.  
  
"Hm?............Dunno! LETS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem!" vicky yelled drunkenly.  
  
"He he he he he, awwww, Vicky Wicky got a one tracky mind. But me also agree. Lets party like it was five minutes ago!!!" shouted Fawn.  
  
"Ahem, Ladies? Are you drunk by any chance?" Asked Mr Whitebell.  
  
"Um......Dunno, Vicky wazzya say?" asked Fawn.  
  
"I'm not as think you as drunk I am!" shouted Vicky defensively.  
  
"Yeah me too!" said a completely lost Fawn.  
  
"Uh huh. OK, everyone, these are the um, girls you're going to be staying with, um, have fun!" said Mr Whitebell who hurriedly drove away as soon as everyone was out.  
  
"Girls? If you want, I know an extremely good spell that gets rid of drunkeness straight away?" said Mr Dumbledore.  
  
"Huh? OK." Said The drunken duo.  
  
"Undrunkeo." Said Dumbledore pointing his wand at the girls.  
  
With a burst of blue light, Fawn and Vicky were on their feet in an instant and just stared into Dumbledore's eyes as if trying to see right through him.  
  
"Saesa omentien lle." Said Fawn holding her hand out to Dumbledore.  
  
(A/N: Evish for 'Pleasure Meeting you'. There will be more Elvish in the story, translations will be after.)  
  
Dumbledore just looks at her completely confused and asks, "Sorry, what did you say?"  
  
While the students in the background looked thoroughly and utterly lost.  
  
"Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina." Said Vicky nastily with an evil smirk while Fawn laughs silently behind her hand.  
  
(A/N: You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.)  
  
Prof. McGonagall who by now was extremely upset for being left out of the conversation, said angrily, "Do you mind speaking a language we all understand? Thank you girls."  
  
Fawn, who had a rather nasty smirk on her face said, "Antolle ulua sulrim." (A/N: Much wind pours from your mouth.)  
  
"Ed' i'ear ar' elenea!" Exclaimed Fawn, "Tanya awra!"  
  
(A/N: By the seas and stars! And That hurt!')  
  
For Vicky had stood on her foot.  
  
At that Dumbledore, McGonagall and Figg decided they had had enough and beckoned the students to set up camp in the field.  
  
"Amin nowe ron n'kelaya." Said Vicky in relief.  
  
(A/N: I thought they'd never leave.)  
  
"Ha ha, did you see their faces when they saw we weren't going to speak English? It was so funny." Said Fawn with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Maybe we should be nice?..........Nah!" said Vicky more to herself than anyone who would actually listen.  
  
"That Spangaer seemed to be semi-intelligent, don't you think Vicky?" said a very thoughtful Fawn.  
  
(A/N: Spangaer - bearded one.)  
  
"Hm? What? Yeah.......He's an Istar, actually they all are. 'Cept the witches." Said Vicky thoughtfully.  
  
"Ed' i'ear ar' elenea! They are tulien." Said a very upset Fawn, pointing to the bunch the Gryffindors coming their way.  
  
"Uuma dela." Said Vicky.  
  
(A/N: Don't worry.)  
  
"Hey, wassup babes?" asked James.  
  
"Are they referring to us?" asked Fawn to Vicky.  
  
"Probably, ar who gives a fuck? I'm gonna get somethin' to eat." Mumbled Vicky. "Tenna' tul're san'." Said Vicky over her shoulder, with all the intentions of letting Fawn deal with these idiots on her own.  
  
(A/N: Until later then.)  
  
"Mankoi amin?" muttered Fawn.  
  
(A/N: Why me?)  
  
End of Chapter 2: Hardly any Elvish next chapter as Fawn and Vicky decide to speak English for their visitors. 


End file.
